Dear Ian

Dear Ian,

I don’t know if writing to you mean anything to you but I guess if talking may not make any sense, maybe writing will.

Growing up is never fun like it used to be but we don’t have a choice. In one hand, we want to grow up fast so that we could have more freedom; on the other hand, there is this small boy within that cries out for attention that you may lose out as an adult. Juggling between the two will definitely cause some struggles in you which results that sometimes you will feel frustrated over things that you want but didn’t get it and things that you don’t want to do but you are required to do.

So son, what is the balance? The best solution is: MAKE WISE DECISIONS ! By this I mean, when you make wise decisions on your own, you don’t have to listen to all those nagging tones from us; when you make wise decisions on your own, you will enjoy doing it more rather than taking orders from the adults.

For example: tidying room – do you feel better doing it yourself without anyone telling you what to do OR you like it when we ask you to clean up the room? Take another example: Does it feel better when you decide to study on your own instead of us nagging you to study all the time? Which of these will make you feel better? To be asked what to do or to decide to do it on your own?

Another example: you know that watching certain shows are not edifying (building up your spiritual life). Though they may seem harmless and a comedy but the content is definitely out. So what should we do? I could say a thousand times, “Don’t watch it!”. You will still do because you are not convinced that you shouldn’t watch it BUT let’s say one day you realized that these show will not bring any profit to you or that music is not suitable and that habits brings no glory to God and you yourself, on your own decided NOT to do any of these, I tell you son, you will feel GOOD inside because you have make a wise decision for God and for yourself.

So that’s why I said, “Don’t wait till someone ask you to do something because it will not bring any meaning in your life. When you have decided on your own, then it will mean something to you.”

So don’t wait to be asked what to do, son. A mature adult (BTW not every adult is mature) must learn how to make wise decision that will bring meaning to his life. I am waiting for the day when you will have that strength to make your own decision that will not only benefit yourself but also to glorify God and also bring gladness in our hearts.

So I will not be with you for a week. But I will remember you in prayer that you will understand what I am talking here. I’m not going to Cambodia because it’s a duty call but because I enjoy doing it. Not only I have made a decision to go but I also rise to the next level, that is: I have actually enjoyed doing it.

Ultimately son, when you continue to make that wise decision, you will realize that it’s no longer a decision; it becomes a way of life (一种生活方式) which will guide you when you face difficult challenges later on.

So son, make good your life… how you want your future to be, start now! Your future starts today! Whatever your decision is today will affect your tomorrow and your future.
Love you so much…

mum