Tuesday, February 10, 2009


I was lovingly told by one of my reader that I have been a bit too harsh on my words in this particular blog. Very negative in fact. So after much consideration and thoughts and reading through it over and over again, I decided to edit the blog. Yes, I believe a blog as such that sounds negative may "stumble" some. That would be my last reason for writing. I stand corrected. So I edited this blog and put on a more positive note in it. Thnx bro for your concern. God bless.
Have you ever been misunderstood? Or at least you thought that you have been. How do you usually respond when you think that you have been misunderstood?

To start with, whom do you think have misunderstand you? What was the issue? The people or the matter?

Generally, the first thing that comes to our mind when we think that we have been misunderstood is to explain. In actual fact, because it is a misunderstanding, a lot of factors are involved. Why was there misunderstanding in the first place? Is a third party involved?

Recently, I felt that I have been misunderstood…again! Instead of explaining my way (of which I did try) but the results are not what I ideally wished it to be. Instead, I felt that the relationship was strained and we could never go back to the same way again. This is a complicated problem because it involved a third party.
I was very sad and of course my husband was sad because I was sad. I began to recollect, as a pastor’s wife, how many times I was misunderstood. If I speak, I was dominant; if I don’t speak, then I am not concern. If I serve earnestly, I was bossy; if I don’t do anything, then I’m lazy.

There comes a time when I want to just give up, pack and go…anyway that don’t have human being. I know that’s not possible because even heaven and hell have them. I complain to God, “You have called me into the ministry. I know that I have tried my best to serve you and to please you. But I cannot please everyone in the ministries.

I was asked to read a blog where the members have set up to write against the senior pastor. They sounded so godly and the pastor such a jerk. I don’t really know what happened in that church but I just asked for mercy and grace. Jesus exhorted us to be righteous but also kind and compassionate. Christian principles are rooted more in love and acceptance than hatred and dissensions. Woe unto those who thought they are doing God a favour by causing division in the church! Recognize the source: God or Satan, who like to cause division and dissension?

Maybe there are some who think that by causing such problems in so that “we could be kept humbled”. I almost fell off my chair when I heard that.

Being misunderstood is not a nice feeling; being unable to fully explain myself is a humbling experience. I only want to please God and I have a very simple mission: to preach the gospel and to raise up disciples for Jesus Christ.
So I resolved to not be bothered by negative remarks but to continue to serve God in whatever capacity that the Lord has given me. I will pray harder (if there's such expression); will preach more diligently; to love even more and most of all to forgive ALL!


不肖生 Sceptics said...

Yes, I agree that ppl tend to misunderstand... I am also badly hit by this...ha!

but I find, writing my thoughts seem better to communicate, generating much less misunderstand and hostility...

cheer up. God bless..

Lynda Choi-Pastor's Wife said...

it's because people are not trying to see from our point of view but insist that whatever they see we must also see. Very very 主观. If only we try to allow God to do what he wants in our lives and not try to play God, I think we will experience less misunderstanding... do you agree?

不肖生 Sceptics said...

any one, must read and be exposed to variety of viewpoints possible, then would be able to reduce misunderstanding.... but usually ppl are lazy to do that.

I am greedy, like to explore as much possible..ha!

However, the sinful nature of self-centredness also prevent ppl from being sympathetic to others...thats y, got self imposed 主觀

musicfreek said...

hey pastor, i sure hope you're feeling much better. :D
and yeah, i do get misunderstood sometimes. when i try to explain myself, they kept cutting me off and try to prove themselves right. at times, i can get so fed up just trying to let them view from my point that i walk away before i start to argue. sometimes, i can get into an argument too which is BAD i know. but im learning to deal it in a better way. but,does walking away projects my weaker self? that i don't know.i just don't want to come off as being mean or anything. =/

Lynda Choi-Pastor's Wife said...

Dear music freak...

walking away does not mean that you are weak coz it takes more strength to walk away than to argue. the choice to step down is a difficult step. Just learn to lean on God's strength instead. God is the TRUTH...just remember he is the advocate for TRUTH and no hypocrites in heaven please..:-)

Optimum Brain said...

I understand Lynda, I'm a pastor's kid and there are many of us who are misunderstood. So I understand how the misunderstandings may be experienced by you first as the wife of a pastor. I know all too well from the experiences my mom has had to deal with over these any years. The best we can do is pray for those that we help to shepherd with wisdom, love and guidance from the Lord. We are not perfect as leaders, or children of leaders and therefore we automatically get placed into a "specific" box and are unfairly judged. But it's simple to understand that we are not the problem solvers, God is and I'm so glad He is! He knows more than any of us could know in a lifetime, so my peace is in the Lord and I encourage you to rest in His peace and don't be troubled by those who are coming to maturity in Christ. Be Blessed.