Monday, March 9, 2009

The Journey to Reconciliation

Relationship is a powerful “conjunction” between human beings. It links us to another person’s life and indirectly gave us the right to be “involved” in the other person’s matter.

Broken relationship will not only take away that right, when it turned ugly, will deny us access to anything pertaining to that person’s life. Usually it involves hurts, pain and agony because of betrayal or breach of trust between the persons. When that hurts deepen due to time and further denial or betrayal, a person will go through hatred. When hatred climax, ironically a person will no longer have any more feelings. Reason: a person cannot hate when there’s no more love. You don’t hate a person on the street that has no relation with you.

So, reconciliation is all about bridging two persons together again in an attempt to heal broken relationship and thus to revitalize a feeling of love for one another again. Now you can understand why this process is so agonizingly torturing to two souls. The good news is: This is exactly what Jesus has done for us on the cross. He died on the cross in acute agony in so that we could be reconciled to God, the Father. Once, we don’t even know nor have any feeling toward this Father in heaven but now, Jesus brought us back to where it all started-we are created to worship Him! Excellent!

That sounds easy. How about healing broken relationship between two souls? This seems a different scenario; the matter was worsened if both are saved, delivered Christians who are ardent believers in reconciliation. Did you see the picture?

Yet, reconciliation is desperately necessary if we want to continue to bear the name “Christian” in our lives. Because being “saved” is being reconciled – either to God or to man! So how could we continuously exist as a Christian and allow hatred to reign in our heart. We often say, “to forgive and to forget.” But in reality, we cannot forget and thanks to our powerful makeup of our brain. Could you actually forget the past when someone actually hurt you deeply? We may talk about it as though it happens to a third party but we know we cannot forget that incident unless we have Alzheimer.

But how do we handle broken relationship? We know we have to because Jesus has done it and He wants us to do likewise. I utterly dislike handling such matters because the hurts that was concealed neatly over years will now have to be faced-once and for all! I know that I have to and I really want to; otherwise it will haunt me to my grave.

I took a long time to pray. If I say that it’s going to be easy, then I am not being truthful. Hurts mean hurts. It takes time to have courage to admit that you need God’s strength to help you to open your hearts in so that you could accept the person who has once hurt you. Good news is: we can do it because the Holy Spirit will grant us strength.

Praying is not enough. Let’s face it! We want to just make right with God but we don’t want to face those whom we thought have hurt us. As long as we say sorry to God, then our job is done. NOT TRUE! The next step, which is crucial, in reconciliation is to face the person. The purpose is not to be what we use to be (the relationship before these happens), rather we are making right what was wrong. Whether the person will accept or not, is not our jurisdiction. We just want to obey God and to do the right thing.

There’s effort – great effort involved. Many times because of pride, we wait for the other party to make the first move. Well, the one who moves first is guilty…konon. But the one who makes the first move is blessed because of humility. This is the hardest first step in our lives. But when you actually take it, it could be the best thing ever happen because it is the KEY to unlock joy and freedom.
Trust me, God will be with you when you learn to stay humble. It is okay to eat that humble pie once in awhile. Making reconciliation is not a time to gauge who’s right or wrong; it is a time to say, “let’s move on!”

Remember: we are trying to do what is right in God’s eyes, not attempting to be what we are not. We remain humble because we love God and God’s people. When we take that first move, it’s not because we are guilty but that we are obedient to God’s Word.

So do not sweep the hurts under the carpet. I have done that many times and it just accumulates until the carpet could no longer contain. And so, a lot of small little humps began to gather and I fell over and tripped. I know it’s time to act: because I love God! So how about you?!


John Justin said...

'Praying is not enough. Let’s face it! We want to just make right with God but we don’t want to face those whom we thought have hurt us. As long as we say sorry to God, then our job is done. NOT TRUE! The next step, which is crucial, in reconciliation is to face the person'
Yes Sis Ps, the truth is we still have to do it, even if it means hurt to one or both party. Even doing it in the name of true love will still be hurtful. Even if it means telling somebody whom we respect so much that what they did in private had cause somebody else to backslide. God grant me the courage to face go thru this..

Lynda Choi-Pastor's Wife said... can do it! It will not be easy but you can do it, with God's strength!I will pray with you that the courage that you asked for will be granted. :-)


jedi said...

Forgive n forget.....not easy aka hard. but HAVE TO face it..

jedi said...

But thank u Sis Lynda..right 'post' at a right time. :-)

james yg lebih handsome(perasan)

Lynda Choi-Pastor's Wife said...

Yes James:

We cannot forget but we can forgive. Over time, the memory of the hurt will tone down and we can face it with courage. when we think back, we realised how much energy we have wasted in not forgiving and try forgetting. if only we understand that Forgiving is something that we must do and just allow the forgetting part to take its course. God bless