Being WEAK or being MEEK!

A couple of days ago, my son and I had a chat. We were talking about behaving in the ministries. I encouraged him to be serious and be alert all the time when you are in the ministries because there will be obstacles whereby we need to learn to depend on God for wisdom and protection.

Somehow we got to bring out some past painful experiences that I had and he said, “Mum, I wish that I am older when you were facing those trials. Then maybe I could shield you from being hurt.” “Son, we need to go through all these so called hurts in order to grow and to learn to lean on God.”

“But mum, I saw you being silent when accused; didn’t explain yourself when words were hurled at you. In a nice way, you are being gentle but on the other hand you were seen as being weak in your leadership.”

I was quiet for a moment, recalling what my son had just told me. “Is that what others think when I kept quiet, WEAK?” I thought aloud. Then I calmed down and I told him this gently, “Son, there is a marginal difference between the WEAK and the MEEK. The weak are those who dare not face the situation and choose to run away. They chose to say hurtful comments behind the person and acted out negatively to bring discord and further pain by discrediting the other person and the church behind their back.”

“But the MEEK are those who know that to retaliate is to showcase your weakness whereas to keep compose in times of trials is a showcase of strength. To have a clear mind and to be gentle at the face of calamities are inner strength when one learnt to depend on the Holy Spirit.”

The world is looking on the outward reaction to determine the person’s strength and weakness. We seldom look deep into the person; whether the person reacts quietly and preferably in prayer instead of backbiting or continuously using negative words against the other person.

I once saw a picture in a very old magazine called the “last days ministries”; a picture depicting who Jesus was. In that picture a lamb was climbing a very dangerous and steep cliff up the mountain. It was evening and the shadow casted on the wall of the mountain surprisingly was a LION. It says, “The lamb who is the Lion of Judah.” I think this is the perfect picture of meekness. We are the lamb, gentle and maybe sometimes an easy target to be bullied or hurt but the inner person exhibits such strength that put him/her in a position of love and forgiveness.

Tell me, is it easier to react or refrain to react. To react and to give back the same way the person is treating you don’t need skill or strength but to refrain from taking revenge and not only do not speak against the other person INSTEAD prayerfully bringing that person before God, really needs lots and lots of energy.

I have to admit that through all these experiences that I had, I have become more patient. I thank God each day for keeping me strong. I thank God for allowing negative happenings in my life for without which I will never learn total dependence. Most of all, the Lord has helped me to see that it is never a person’s desire, especially when they are Christians and professing their love to God, to hurt another soul; it is all misunderstanding and miscommunication because we are DIFFERENT from one another. The sooner we recognize this, the less we will accuse one another.

We are different; the way we work; the way we talk; the way we react; the way we plan; the way we see the ministries. So do not take it to heart when someone is different from us. Just learn to accept and to allow that person to express himself/herself through time. Give your support silently even if you disagree. You never know; you could be wrong THIS TIME.

So son, I am not being weak but trying to walk meekly before God…just like our Lord Jesus! J

Choices - "Fair or Unfair"

My beautiful pet dog, a Rottweiler whom we fondly named as “Princess Zsa Zsa” came to live with us when she was only four months old. She was my son’s pet before he went to the college. Now of course the job of raising this dog came on my shoulder when he left. I grew to love her more each day and we have established a bond that only we could understand.

As time goes, she became bigger and stronger and before I knew it, her strength overpowered me. I saw lots of bruises on my arms and legs and once while playing with her, she got excited and pounced on my face and actually barely missed my left eye. I felt an excruciating pain and I quickly took an ice bag to relieve the swell. It was an accident but I began to realize that she’s getting really big and strong. I couldn’t handle her if I would take her out for walks because she would drag me.

I knew that she needed to go to obedient school but because of my heavy schedule I kept on postponing it and now she’s almost a year old. My schedule for the year is still very full and I was wondering what should I do. At this time, our church drug rehabilitation center lost their dog and they were asking if they could have Zsa Zsa (knowing that she is getting too big for me).

After weeks of consideration I decided to give it a try. (that is after lots of considerations and lots of thinking). I took her to the center and spent a day there. The moment we arrived, she dashed out into the open field and ran with all her might. Her half brother, “Tiger” who was only three months old was also there to play with her. I saw immediate bond between them and she has never been so happy.

After that day, my heart was more willing to let her go and I did. But I was undermining the attachment I have with her. For the next three days, I was crying each time I saw her pictures and thinking how she has been in the new place. I called to ask about her and they always give me positive answers but I was not convinced.

Finally after the weekend, Ian, my son came back for holiday and we decided to bring her home for a visit. I was elated and was all smile that finally I could see her again. And I kept on repeating to myself that she should miss me and I knew that I did.

When she was finally home, I saw in her eyes that bond that we used to have. She walked slowly to me and immediately fell into my embrace and we hugged and kissed. For the first time she actually walked to me and sat on my lap quietly, allowing me to stroke her gently and to speak to her like I always use to. Tears welled up my eyes and I knew that this bond can never be broken.

I spent the whole night talking and playing with her. She was much gentler now and quieter. For whatever reason, I knew that this is not herself. She was happy to be with me yet she should be happier there with so many people around her and so much space for her to move. (whereas my house has very limited space for her to even run).

I knew I have to make the final decision. As much as I loved her and missed her, she doesn’t belong here. She needs space and the people who have time to take care of her and to be her companion.

Given a choice, I would like to keep her and would take her to the obedient school; but seeing that she’s happier there, am I making the right decision? If I am a pet lover, will I confine her movement just to keep her close to me? There are times when I am busy with a heavy schedule, she will have to be alone till I finished my work at night, then only she got to see me and to play with me. Of course she brought much comfort and joy to me but am I doing the same to her?

Finally, I decided that she’s better off with the people in the drug rehab center who could give her the full attention that she needed. I may miss her greatly but I know that I cannot be selfish.

In our lives, we have lots of decisions to make: decisions that may affect us greatly and may even cause anger and dissatisfactions. We think that it is only fair that we feel happy and comfortable with whatever decision therein as long as we are happy but today I saw decision making with a different view. I battle with the thought of being “selfish” just to keep her close to me, knowing that she’s better off with the other party. But now I am thinking is she happy with me or with them?

The answer is obvious and I am willing to LET GO because I love her too much to make her unhappy. Sometimes we need to learn this lesson of “LETTING GO” because of love. We let our children go in order to allow them to grow (though we would think that it is better off if we continue to make decisions for them); we let go of our painful past in order to move on (to allow the other party to live on as well). Do not wrestle with the thought “fair” or “unfair” because this will only deepen some hurts and bring us into deeper depression.

Walk out and let go! When I did that, I realized that my heart is at peace and I knew that though I will miss her, she’s never far from my heart.

Kathmandu, Nepal

After eighteen hours of travelling, crossing three borders and four airports, we finally arrived at Kathmandu. It was a small airport but what welcomed us was the news that one of our luggage decided to ‘delay’ its arrival till the last flight, leaving us anxious about where it was. The airport officers assured us that the ‘naughty luggage’ would definitely arrive and we would be able to see it tomorrow.

So with a very tired body and a heavy heart we left the airport and met Jason, a friend of a friend who was so kind to take us for a meal and thereafter to our guest house, rightly names as “Mercy Guest house” cause that’s exactly what we needed at that moment.

After a good rest, we met the rest of the team from Singapore and of course our very naughty luggage and headed towards Kavre where we will be staying for a week.

As we travelled away from the dusty city, the four-wheeler took us up to the mountainous area and our breathing actually became smoother. It was an awesome picture all the way. Finally we arrived; that’s what I thought we did. But that was only an arrival at the feet of the hill that we were going to climb. When I saw the roads leading up, my jaw dropped and I gasped “What?!” (refer to some of the pics)

I finally gather myself together and managed to coax my nerves to strengthen up and I started the courageous climb. The first hurdle was manageable but as I climbed, the steeper it has become and the harder I breathed and the climb became a crawl. Before long my two faithful companions, each holding a side of my arms just like what Aaron and Hur did to Moses at the battle field came to the rescue. But the difference here was, Aaron and Hur were standing beside Moses, supporting his arms whereas I was literary hurled up the roads with my friends pulling my arms. Such a shameful state I have to admit. One of the local brothers even offered to carry me on his back and I shyly declined even though for a moment I was tempted to so doing thinking that it was not a bad idea at all. J

What welcomed us after that dreadful climb was worth all my ‘effort’. Serenity and majestic mountains filled my eyes. I marveled at God’s creation and I breathed in a deep sense of tranquility, “God, indeed great is your faithfulness for they are new every morning.”

The next few days were teachings, preaching, working in the field, helping to build a green house for the ‘food for every family’ project and of course helping out in the kitchen. We had dhal bhat (it is rice and vegetable and a dhal curry) everyday, for almost all the meals except a bit of variety along the way. Thanks to our sisters who insisted in helping out in the kitchen and suggesting some new things that we would like to try (just to break the routine). But I have to admit that I got to love those dhal bhat because I realized that I got lighter and healthier with less meat and lots of exercise.

The Nepalese are very gentle people. Their culture are quite similar with the Indians with a mixture of Chinese (you don’t believe this; this is because they are next to Tibet). Their hearts are open but bound by tradition and religious piety.

But for the few who have accepted the Lord, they are fearless in presenting the gospel in the face of persecution and a hard ground to plough. Yet they relentlessly and diligently ministering out of love for their own people. In comparison with what we have here in the so-called civility, our church has fallen into contemplation which any changes may mean crucifixion on the cross.

If there is one thing I have learnt, it is their fervent prayer and total dependence on our Lord Jesus Christ. They have nothing much, yet much is given. When they do not have, they lean on the Provider; when they suffer, they draw from Comforter; when they are in lack, they call on the Great Shepherd. What a faith they have; a practical faith in their lives. May God continue to bless our brethren in Nepal and raise up many more churches to bring the good news to those in need. Amen!

Pre-conceived Idea - An irreversible Judgment

Pre-conceived Idea - An irreversible Judgment

A very young mother-to-be, into the second month pregnancy was experiencing a very bad morning sickness and she needs to be in bed almost 24 hours a day. I visited her and showed my concern over her extreme condition. She declared that she already expected it this way because her mother had earlier shared with her of the difficulties during her pregnancy. Looks like she already expected to be in this condition even before she’s conceived and she did went through everything that she has expected it to be till the delivery.

Another young mother-to-be also into her early pregnancy but she was ok. Her mum has passed away and she has no knowledge of what pregnancy is all about except through reading books and also some chatting that she has with me. I told her this, “Enjoy your pregnancy because this is a gift from God.” She actually did!

Now I am not undermining some cases whereby pregnancy is difficult but to expect it even before it ever happens is an irreversible judgment pronounced upon oneself. The first lady actually expected the same for the next few pregnancies and thus developed pre and post-natal depression.

Let’s have another scenario. A young man who has pierced nose and wearing a one-sided earring, head shaved and worked in a movie house part time, came to church to worship God. Be honest, what would you do if he is seated next to your beautiful teenage daughter? After church what would you do to greet him? What question would you anticipate in asking him? OR if in come a very well-dressed promising looking young man giving full concentration to the worship service and speak eloquently with confidence, what comes to your mind? Preconceived Idea!

We are ‘educated’ by people around us as to what is and what is not without experiencing it ourselves. We don’t even give it the benefit of doubt that it may not be what we see. What we see may not justify who the person is.

I am pretty upset when a person would come to me and give a judgment about the others or him/herself even before a decent conversation or working alongside the person nor giving that person a chance to prove him/herself. I have a young Christian girl in church whom most would have consider her a free spirit and possessed an untamable behavior. Many have already passed the judgment that she will make a mess in her life. But she proved to be the most sensible girl even though in her youngish ways may have made some mistakes but these are all part of learning and growing up experiences. I trusted her fully that she will carry herself sensibly before the people and most of all responsible to God.

The young man that I mentioned earlier who shaved his head and wearing nose and one-sided earring is actually a youth pastor in London whom I knew who is very passionate about young people’s ministries. He loves them with all his heart and together with his wife has established a very sound doctrine to guide young people back to God. The young people in return loved him dearly. I saw the bond between the pastor and youths and it touched my heart that he actually stooped down to their level in order to win them.

We meet a lot of people along our life path. Some we really appreciate and some we don’t. Some were already in the cold storage even before they are given a chance to cross our paths and yet for some we just knew that they will be our friends.

Sadly, those whom we trusted may turn out sour and those whom we least expected became our greatest port where we could rest our worries upon. As the old saying goes, “Don’t judge the book by its cover.”

Paul was initially the most influential persecutor before he turned the most influential executor of the gospel. Who are we to judge whether the person is qualified to serve or not to serve; to lead or not to lead; to love or not to love. If Jesus died for ALL HUMANKIND, then salvation is for ALL and we need to LOVE ALL. Smile when you read this J coz there will be someone we wish we will never have to meet again. I believe if God allows the person to cross our paths, it is for us to learn and to embrace while we have that opportunity.

So do not be too quick to pass an irreversible judgment with a preconceived idea. Allow that person to prove himself in some ways and allow God to work through that life. You’ll never know, we may have another Paul in the making and one day he/she may rock the world with the gospel. Therefore, spend some time with those whom we thought should enter the ‘cold storage’ and give one another a chance to love, to share and to encourage. J

Hot Air Balloon

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. (1 Thess 5:11)

Last Saturday, the young people were studying on a topic: “hot air balloon” (a chapter in the book ‘Habitude-Vol 2 by Tim Elmore). The author mentioned that the way to keep the hot air balloon flying in the sky is to make sure that there’s enough hot air in the balloon.


In our life, the way to keep the hot air (a person’s spirit) up is through encouragement. A person’s level of encouragement could be used up and then deflated to a dangerously low level. This could happen when a person who is constantly being spoken to negatively and receive no positive praises in his/her life. So in a community, it is important that these acts of encouragement should be constantly practice in so that we could continue to be effective and most of all happy.


The question is: How should we do it? Nowadays there are a lot of so-called encouragement and praises done out of an act of manners instead of sincerity from the heart.


I received a personal note from one of the young people during the weekend that said: “Pastor, thank you for taking care of us and the church and making it (the church) the place, a time of the week that I look forward to”. To put it simply, “thank you for making the church a place where we belong”. When I read that I was truly moved and I replied with a sms thanking her for making my ministry as a pastor meaningful.


A short note, written out of sincerity, specifically stated and personal will make any encouragement meaningful and this has definitely pumped in more hot air in my balloon. It may not necessary be something large or big but a gesture of love will be the agenda of the day.


Early last year was a ‘bad year’ for my hot air balloon because I have experienced more deflated moments that left me most of the time discouraged about ministries. A number of times I have asked God to remove me from this place and get me somewhere else where I can be more effective. Yet for reasons only God knows, I am still here. We have looked for pastors to come in, yet again for reasons only God knows, there weren’t any who responded positively. Even for matter such as this, there were rumours that there was actually a pastor candidate but because he was more popular than I do, so I did not venture to ask him to come in because I was afraid that he would be better than I. What rubbish this can be?


Though it looked bad from the outside but the dealings of God in my life is definitely a positive one. I have learned to love, to accept and to forgive much more deeply than before. Instead of harbouring hatred and distrust, in fact I have learned to trust people more. When some would have expected to leave me with a negative remark like: if she is right, then why are people leaving one by one? So she must be wrong all these years? Won’t you feel discourage with such remarks? If I say I don’t, then I am lying. If the persons who made such remarks meant to discredit me then he/she had succeeded.


But what was meant for bad, God took over and make it good. Instead of remaining deflated, God moved so many others to fill up my hot air balloon… people who trusted us for who we are; people who live with us and walk with us and choose to believe that these accusations are just not the whole truth.


So my friends, if you are reading this, do this:
1) If you are the one who are discouraged, choose today to be encouraged by changing your mind to focus on Jesus and on those who love you for who you are and not just for what you have done.
2) AND if you are the one who often complains about your life, your work or even your pastors, start by reverting your tongue and your mind to something positive. I can give you 101% guarantee that God would be pleased if you do so.


So don’t wait, start to fill up one another’s hot air balloon with sincere words of encouragement and start RIGHT NOW!

"As for me and my whole household, we will serve the Lord."Joshua 24:15

Our Prime Minister is very serious about “One Malaysia” and insists that it should be our very own Malaysian culture. Whether this will be a reality or not, at least some efforts are seen in promoting it.

A good culture is not just a matter of talking and implementing. It is a process, a very long and painful process. It takes not only the people in the leadership to take the drastic step to implement it but also taking that effort to embrace it as part of their lives as well. It takes years to cultivate and the leadership must cast the vision to the people from all walks of life; from the grass-root to the royalties. Line by line, precepts by precepts … penetrating through every level of the societies.

In our church, we are also developing some cultural identities that belong to us as Peace Charisians. What is the culture that we are looking for? What identity can we associate ourselves with? Allow me to cast the vision for you.

First and foremost, let our church be a church where the people love the Word of God. We want to see believers gathering together, not gossiping or backbiting each other, slandering with negative remarks towards one another or the leadership; rather their mouth shall be full of encouragement and admonition from the Word of God. (Eph 5:19)

Secondly, the church should be a prayer and worship house (Mark 11:17) where anyone… I mean anyone (believers and non-believers alike) shall find comfort in God in this place. A church who prays earnestly and passionately will be a church who will be kind and compassionate towards the people around them. The church will be able to see what God sees and feel how God feels for the people of God and for the world. No genuine prayer warrior should be judgmental but is compassionate and full of love for the people, just like our Lord Jesus Christ. This is true when the church worships God. When we are ‘lost’ in the presence of God, then we are found in Him.

Lastly (but the list could go on) Peace Charisians should be actively involved in community service, not being ignorant nor non-concern attitude towards the happenings around them (James 1:26,27). In order to thrive at the edge of ministering as God’s servants, we need to be alert towards the society’s needs at all times. Do you know the community where you live? Do they know that you are a Christian and that you are available to help them or be the resourceful person to refer them if you are not an expert on the said subject? Or you are the ‘quiet, no nonsense, apathetic’ neighbor who mysteriously disappears each Sunday for a couple of hours?

So what culture are you developing now personally? Are you seeing the mentioned culture above forming in our church? If no, what are you doing about it? If yes, shall we be diligent to improve it? As for me, the culture that we embrace here at home and in the church is, (we would like to imitate Joshua) “As for me and my whole household, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15). I think this will summarize all. Amen!

Burnt Church – “WE FORGIVE!”

"WE FORGIVE!"

Last week, after confirming renting a room (we rented it from Metro Tab) for Ian near his college, we had a small talk with one of the pastors from Metro Tab. We thanked God for pastors who have a great vision for the Lord and we believe in God’s provision even in granting a permit for their new premise that would be ready for use anytime.

The next day, we heard that the church was burnt. I quickly called the pastor to enquire and to render our prayers. The same day before I left for church, I saw in the TV news the image of the church. The first reaction was angry and then in prayer I felt sad over the actions by some who thought that they have the right to do what they pleased. Then I was elated because with this in the news, I knew that the people in Malaysia were made aware of the existence of this church. So I sent a sms saying, “What the enemy meant bad, God means for good.” I thanked God for the free publicity and I knew that this is a blessing in disguise.

The next day, Rev Ong Sek Leang in the news said, “We forgive!” What a testimony! We do not condone arson but we are in no position to react negatively; rather the phrase “We forgive!” speaks louder than any actions or reactions.

True enough, it has the attention of all the top ministers to “come to church” and a RM500,000 was granted to rebuild and a permit given. What a blessing because we choose to forgive!

This brings to our attention to our daily walk with our Lord. When something un-called for happened, we often looked at the negative side first. We give no room for God to work through even the worst situations in our lives. If only we learn this lesson, “We Forgive!” our church will be a place of refuge for many who walk through that door. Sadly, when something bad happens, the first thought and the first talk is often negative.

Maybe we should change our attitude a bit. Switch to the POSITIVE MODE at all times when we face life situations. Things don’t have to look grim all the time. That’s why I often tell the church, “We have challenges in life, not problems”; Challenges that we could take up positively and face bravely and courageously with our Lord who never leaves us nor forsakes us.

Allah or not, He is the Almighty God. That is a fact! He is YAHWEH, our Lord! Amen!

Dear Shyju

Dear Shyju,

Thank you for your ministry last Christmas. It has been such a blessing to our church. On the first night, the Holy Spirit already began the healing ministries, breaking bondage in many lives. The next morning which was Christmas morning, it was just awesome. The wonderful presence of the Holy Spirit among us further brought us into a deeper relationship with Him. And the fire went on… we are looking forward to a wonderful, fruitful year ahead along with a vision on mission.

You know son, I often thank God for your ministries at such a young age. You have matured greatly in all aspects and that brought such great joy in my heart. Recently, I read some comments on the last article on you which were not altogether pleasant. I was surprised as the article was written a long time ago, yet last month the people began to dig into this past article and commented negatively on it.

When I read the comments the first thing that came to my mind was, “Thanks to all who commented.” Thank you for taking notice of this young man, Shyju Mathew. Truly God is working through this young man. Secondly, I was wondering, why was the article being misunderstood. I was trying to paraphrase what you said in such a short essay or maybe I have not phrased it as close to what you have said and somehow someone get to read it in some other ways. How strange?!

Yet, whatever their comments were, let me share with you this: NO matter how well we are doing, or how right we are, there will be some who would disagree with us, based on their own opinion. If these opinions are not attacking us as being personal, we should just take it in God’s grace. We can’t please everyone and the only One whom we fear is our God.

In the many years in the ministries, I have experienced numerous times when people began to criticize for the sake of criticizing. There are those who meant well but also those who just too prejudiced to have a good word on anything that we do.

When I keep quiet, they would say I don’t care; when I make some comments, then I am bossy. Or when I allow the people to have the freedom to serve in their best capacity, the comments are the pastor and the church were without directions but when I began to chart out the church’s vision, then the pastor was not understanding enough to give them the freedom to serve. Tell me son, what is more difficult than to serve those who already have pre-conceived idea of who you are.

So I resolved with this: I will only speak what I think is right and is the will of God. I don’t ask for a 100% acceptance to my suggestions or opinions, rather I will allow God to prove Himself in our ministries.

Ministerial life is a lonely journey sometimes. We could be misunderstood, misread and mistaken for being proud and arrogant. But we know who we are in the Lord. We know our relationship with God and that is something no other person could interpret. Cherish that!

Lastly, let me say this: I believe in your ministry! I believe God will continue to use you greatly if you allow Him to. We are blessed! :)